In Her Own Words: Meg, Interiority, and Digital Misogynoir

“I would rather not live through this than to have to live with this.”

Megan Pete, lovingly known as Megan Thee Stallion, expressed in her new documentary Megan Thee Stallion In Her Own Words the most interior thoughts many Black women feel. From dealing with the death of her parents, to intimate partner violence, to digital misogynoir, and the loss of some of her closest friends, Megan invited us into her world, into her thoughts, and into the quiet parts of herself that are usually reserved for those she trusts. 

Being a Black woman is extremely hard, especially when misogynoir dictates how people treat you. Your race and gender put you at a deficit, and there is a continuous lack of protection. The historical legacy of violence against Black women has shown us time and time again that being Black AND a woman comes with a host of unwanted and unprovoked harm, dismissal, and silencing. There are physiological impacts that stem directly from misogynoir and the mistreatment of Black women. 

In my decade-long research, I have spoken to over 100+  women about misogynoir and how it impacts them. One constant recurrence in every interview was how participants expressed the physiological impact digital misogynoir had on them. Their mental, emotional, and even physical health were not only impacted but how they utilized social media as a whole or navigated through life was controlled. Some recurring codes were sadness, fear, worry, feeling defeated and devalued or dismissed, confusion, frustration, and fear of negative consequences. Physical impacts such as “feeling sick” were frequently voiced in the interviews. Participants said they felt a tightness in their chest when witnessing digital misogynoir due to the rapidness of the violence. The physiological impacts that were discussed confirm that digital misogynoir significantly impacts Black women. The frequency of the comments also confirmed that this form of violence needs to be taken seriously due to its physiological implications. Megan’s bravery in sharing her story in In Her Words is just one of the many ways Black women allow the world to look into their most interior moments and thoughts. The physiological consequences of being a Black woman in a world that hates you and does not care about your socioeconomic status or even how you look. Megan’s success could not and did not shield her from feeling anxiety, depression, and darkness that she attributed to suicidal ideations in the documentary. 

I am no beginner when it comes to having to show up for the world when I barely want to show up for life. Megan’s vulnerability in the documentary confirmed one thing for me — Black women do not always have a space that feels safe enough to share our darkest fears and concerns. When we do, we are met with violence. This violence has a particular visceral effect on our online experiences. We noticed this recently with Vice President Kamala Harris, athletes like Serena Venus, and artists like Summer Walker. There is no gentleness when it comes to Black women and how they are treated in the digital world, and that is a direct reflection of how Black women are viewed in the physical world. 

One of the things that Megan repeatedly discussed in her documentary was how she felt that everyone hated her based on the overwhelming amount of digital misogynoir she experienced. It made it difficult for her to remember who loved and supported her. By sharing this constantly during the film, it signaled to me that, just as I suspected, Black women cannot just “close the app” and feel better when they are constantly, historically, and consistently the primary target for smear campaigns, technology-facilitated sexual violence, doxxing, and so much more. 

So, I leave you with this — when you find yourself wanting to say something disparaging about a Black woman, think about how many times they have seen or witnessed hatred towards people who look like them. Regarding Meg, I will continue to say that we owe her an apology for not protecting her. We owe all Black women an apology. So, how will you take action regarding these apologies?